


Family Matters

by CrazyBlues



Category: Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound
Genre: Crack, F/M, Out of Character, Pedophilia, ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2018-01-24 23:17:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1620518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyBlues/pseuds/CrazyBlues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Ness has a reunion with his friends a month after Giygas' defeat, things go from bad to worse!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family Matters

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted by me on Fanfiction.net

It was one month after the Giygas invasion was dealt with. Ness had invited his friends to his house for a bit of a reunion.

“Alright everyone! Who wants steak?” Ness's mom called out from the kitchen.

Poo didn't seem too happy with the thought but, as to not seem rude, he resorted to flattery instead.

“It's always a pleasure to have your cooking, Ms. Ness's mom.” he said, not sure what else to call her.

“Why... Thank you, Poo! You're a very sweet boy!” Ness's mom replied, genuinely flattered by the compliment.

Ness, meanwhile, was too engrossed by the conversation he was having with the others to take notice. Paula was telling stories about all the “cute” things the students at her mother's school said and did, while Ness and Jeff laughed about how stupid babies are.

Once dinner was ready, everyone sat down at the table to eat. Ness, too engrossed by the “supreme deliciousness,” as he called it, didn't talk much (except to reply to Tracy's constant pestering). Jeff and Paula mostly talked about what life was like for Jeff growing up in a boarding school. Poo, not really having anyone else to talk to, decided to chat with Ness's mom a bit.

“You sure are lovely today, Ness's mom.” Poo began.

“Thank you!” she said, shocked at the attention. “Ness, Your friend sure seems nice!”

Ness just continued eating, likely not even noticing the exchange.

“It's nice getting all these compliments.” She said quietly.

Poo looked up with interest.

“If only Ness's father was still around.” She continued. “Then maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely all the time.”

“Where is he now?” Poo asked, his voice filled with concern.

Ness's mom got a look of sorrow, with a hint of longing, in her eyes.

“He left me for another woman. I only really see him these days when he comes to visit with the kids...” She trailed off, releasing a heavy sigh.

Poo struggled to find something to say to take the pain away from her eyes.

“I can't imagine anyone wanting to leave you.” he said after a brief pause. “You're such a kind, beautiful woman.”

Ness's mom, taken aback, let out a short gasp. She hadn't heard anything so sweet since Ness's father was still around (and in love with her).

“You're such a kind boy.” she said, overwhelmed with happiness.

After dinner, Ness went straight to bed, much to everyone's dismay. Poo opted to teleport the others home but, instead of returning home himself, he returned to Ness's house. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he needed to continue his conversation with Ness's mom. She was hurting and, as a prince, couldn't watch a damsel in distress suffer like that.

 

\-----

 

Early the next morning, Ness woke up with lots of energy. He contemplated calling his friends to apologize for going to bed so early but, as he exited his room, something frightening caught his attention. Out of his mom's room, he watched Poo silently creep out. Ness, horrified, quickly grabbed Poo by the neck of his shirt and thrust him up against the wall.

“WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE!?” Ness screamed.

Poo seemed to be in a daze.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN!?” He continued. “THAT'S MY MOM!”

“Oh, honey, please don't freak out!” Ness's mom shouted from the doorway (scantily clad).

“He was just so kind–like your father used to be!” She continued.

Ness was understandably unfazed by this. He just stared up at her with a look of sheer terror in his eyes.

“Don't you see?” Poo pleaded. “We're in love!”

“DON'T TALK TO ME!” Ness shrieked.

With that, Ness let go of Poo and retreated back to his bedroom.

 

\-----

 

As weeks turned into months, Poo's visits became more and more frequent. Ness, however, tried to cut all ties with the boy he once regarded as a friend. One day, however, something happened that turned everything into an even crazier mess.

“WHAT!?” Ness screamed.

“That's right,” Poo said calmly, “I finally proposed.”

“And what did she say? Hm!?” Ness asked, his frustration growing by the second.

“We're getting married!” He happily exclaimed. “As soon as I'm 18, at least!”

Ness was about to reach his breaking point.

“Not if I have anything to say about it!” He shouted in retaliation.

Poo, however, seemed to have reached a breaking point of his own.

“Look, you little runt!” He yelled. “You should feel honored that I, Prince Poo of Dalaam, am kind enough to take your poor little ass in and pay for your living expenses!”

Ness froze with fear as Poo continued on.

“I mean–your family is so poor, even hobos stop to give you cash! I could buy your family's estate with the change between my couch cushions! Yet here I am, crowned prince of Dalaam, wasting time and energy helping you, Ness, crowned prince of the kingdom of poor people!”

Ness became enraged. He hated this all enough without Poo's insults. He decided to bring this little speech to his mother's attention as soon as possible, and end this madness once and for all.

 

\-----

 

Ness's mom, in the end, chose to believe Poo's claims that Ness made the whole thing up out of jealousy. In an effort to bring this chaos to an end, Ness ended up calling the proper authorities. However, his claim that the prince of Dalaam, who was still a child, came to his home and slept with his mom was deemed ridiculous.

“Sorry kid, but there's no way that's true! Why would the prince of Dalaam happen to sleep with Ness's mom of all people?” The officer had said. “You guys are WAY too poor, am I right?”

The police office rang with laughter, as Ness ran home crying: Out of options and without any more will to continue.

As Ness returned home, Poo sat on the couch waiting, a crooked smile across his face.

Poo then said, with a hint of glee...

...

…....

…..........

…........................

“You mad, bro?”

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**THE END.**


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